Patching things up

God how long has it been since i actually acted like i care about this stupid thing?

Hm....According to this stupid thing its been one month and four days....Wow didn't realize how much time as passed since then. It all seems like a week...But sun rise, sunset let's just get another one over with.

I guess i'll let you all in on the details of our absence. After all, you girls (or gay men) just looooove gossip.

You see, there's been a small complication on our behalf because you see....there's just been a small little house fire that may have resulted in no house or family and now we're all kinda house hopping. And when i say we i mean a semi out of it sister and her idiot friend. Poor Varg doesn't even know about what happened to our parents yet....i still have no idea how i'm going to break it to her...I've never really been that close with my family, they kicked me out when i was 16 and left me homeless so i kinda had no heart for them. The only reason i returned was for my sister, because....let's just say she's around my age and history tends to repeat itself.

We (well more like i did) finally found a relative of ours with a good internet connection and a computing device not derived from the stone age. I figured we might stay until the weekend then we'll move onto another relatives house since i really don't feel like we're safe if these "proxy's" are after us. So in the time being i thought it was a good time for an update.

So where did i off from the last post again....oh right, at fixing stupid mistakes.

That weekend afterwards i retrieved that stupid friend of my sister's. It was a lot easier than i imagined. Well that's probably because i didn't do so myself but WHO CARES? As long as the brat's in good hands and returns in one piece i think i did my job rather well. I still have no idea what my friends did to him though...he seemed a little ruffled/shell shocked but nothing more so i presume nothing serious happened. Unfortunately i didn't know that I was destined to be fate's bitch and was going to stuck with him for longer than i expected. You see, his family was going camping at the time and he apparently wasn't going with them anyways. So whomever decided to kidnap this Brat must've really done their homework....

Speaking of kidnapping brats those bastards thought they could get my sister as well. Well guess what assholes, that's my blood so only i get to torture her (heheh..). I may be wrong here but my intuition is telling me that she was lured out by using her little friend as a hostage. I doubt she knew that they play dirty though, or else the idiot would of gone with more caution. I don't blame her though for being a little careless, she was still recovering from traumatic nightmares as well. Probably thought it was just another dream.

Here's a recount of what happened though, i'm just relaying what she said though so i might subconsciously paraphrase her words, so bare with me please. Oh and if you're wondering why i'm doing this instead of Varg herself then read this and ask yourself if you'd be up to explaining to random people what you went through. She's just flat out not up to it today, i'll probably coax her into making a small one by this weekend before we leave again.

"I was told to meet in his back yard...I figured it would be safe, close enough to run in or break a window the time called for it. As soon as i jumped the fence though i was ambushed. They gagged me, put a bag over my fucking head, tied me up. You know, the normal procedures that all kidnappers seem to know from their fuckin' edition of "Kidnapping for Dummies". A hand slipped under the bag over my head and forced the blackened gooey contents of a vial down my throat. It tasted as horrible as it looked, it even looked like something I've probably seen before...maybe from one of the god-awful nightly mind fucks... I could feel myself reacting to this....fluid."

She started to freeze up and stutter and the word fluid, reaching for her throat. Poor thing probably remembers the very texture of it, she'll get over it though.

"Hey...it's over now, you don't need to worry about it. That shit's long gone. Just tell me about what happened next"

At this point Varg snapped back to reality and gave a gentle nod and a stern glare. I'm actually surprised she didn't have an over reaction and either have a meltdown or lunged at me. That's probably one of my most favorable thing about that girl. She can go through her troubles and deal shit tons of stress, but she will ALWAYS manage to find away to rip that frown off of her face and slap on a smile. Even if it hurtss.

"The last thing i remember is feeling that shit go down my throat and hearing the frantic muffled voice of a boy roughly around my age near me. In a pathetic desperate attempt to save (whom i corrected assumed at the time, Matt. I tried to lash out at my attacker but i froze as soon as i heard that damned monster's snarl (the hell was she talking about?)...it's putrid stench seemed to fill the car as it's mournful screeches cascaded in my mind as i slowly passed out into a n-nightmare"

She began stuttering and mumbling at this point. She froze up and i think she may have even shed a few tears. I let her have her moment, if i pushed her to far she'd go into "shut-down" mode for the night. The last thing i needed at that point was a crying sister and a shell shocked brat on my shoulders. Varg did come back around roughly 10 minutes later and continued her story though.

"....I can't remember it though but i do remember each moment of fear that it contained. Hopefully that shit they made me drink was good for something.... From that point on everything was a blur, as if i were finally asleep and it was all a real dream.

It wasn't though, the pain from my aching limbs and the scars didn't lie. There was more of the damned concoction to. It made me...stronger, but more out of it....As if the new power i obtained made itself a silent conscious in the back of mind to dictate everything i did. I do remember the things i saw..the things i saw...all of the blood and beaten (still have no idea what the fuck she meant by "beaten")..and how i felt, or rather how it made me felt. I remember the raw emotion of rage and the negative energy (?)

I honestly have no idea how long I was under the influence of that crap, but if you say i was gone for a week then i was gone for a week. Mentally though, I was there for an eternity(no wonder why she sleeps forever, it's the only peace of mind she can get)...

Poor Matt. He was always struggling to catch up....i remember..i remember that they'd beat him if he didn't meet their standards though in these weird exercises we were doing...It was horrible... that within the few precious minutes of regaining my conscious i had to endure the the tortured screams of life long friend and the mad howls of a demon of my mind (ok seriously, what the hell is she talking about?)....so horrible....

But he left before i did, and i was happy for him. I know i should have been jealous but when you're in the depths of hell where no joy is ever found, seeing someone else escape their damnation gives you a small pleasure. To know that there is one person out there, who will live to see another day filled with joy after seeing so many of torture, to know that there is someone out there who can actually appreciate each day that so many take for granted...and hopefully that one day that person might be you...

Eventually that person was me. Through all of the shit that i was forced into, all of those mentally deafening screeches, the drug they made me drink, and out of all of the horrible scenes i was forced to witness; i was finally freed. I know i should be more battered and broken but my hopes were fulfilled and I've actually been more at peace with myself than I've ever been before....

You know that one cliche phrase "It's always darkest before the dawn" that people overuse?

Yeah it's kinda like that, but with less heroism and more emotion.

Let's just try not to get ourselves into anymore trouble, i don't think i can handle anymore of this crap..."

That's pretty much were we left off, i didn't see the need to pursue the topic mush further. I might have felt a little bad for making her relive that experience anyways....

I do however plan on getting those nightmares of hers taken care of, i have a good friend who specializes in the land of dreams. I can't tell Varg though about it, she's been extremely paranoid lately and might flip a few tables. He hopefully can help us with our housing situation to...we're almost getting desperate at this point...

He might even take care of Bratulas the cowardly, heheh...Well in a good way, i doubt Varg would be happy with me if he were dead. Then it's be very difficult to get her to listen to me...might even run away...Bottom line being the kid won't die but something has to happen with him.

I think i'm out for the night. I need some actual fucking rest for a change.

Good luck i guess?

-BB

Big Brother to the unfortunate rescue

Ugh, look at what you've done now
You ran RIGHT into something right. in.your.face. Not only that, but you've also managed to get that other idiot you hang out got into to this to. Thank god I'm here, admit it, you'd be lost without me dear sister. Sometimes i wish that i've been graced with a sister with and i.q. high than a brick.


So apologizes about the absence in both of our presences. My sister's been busy being retarded while i'v been busy cleaning up after her. Now that I'm able to actual get some time to my fucking self I'd just loooooove to enlighten you all on the going-ons of within our absence.


So what happened...well...none of us really know....we all thought it was only another nightmare. Somehow, it must have evolved into something worse because she had a full on BREAK DOWN. I had to bust out the sedatives (don't ask where i got them i just have them).


Hold on, be right back a quick moment...i think the beast is finally stirring from her lair.
...


False alarm, just sleep talking. I know her psychiatrist told me to listen to her when she sleeps since the mind reveals it's inner most thoughts in a dream state but screw that, I'm not going to do that bastards job for free. I'm just going to give her the pills and try to keep her from doing anymore retarded things.But unfortunately on top of being her "guard dog" (as she likes to say) I'm now in charge of saving her dumb ass friend. I don't really want but however i don't want to be the accused of kidnapping the poor thing when he was last seen at her house (which i'm temporarily residing in to take care of her).


So about that last post she made....well my best guess is that she was either VERY sleep deprived or took to many of the doc's pills if you know what i mean. When i returned home for the holidays i was surprised she didn't manage to kill herself. From what i've heard she was found passed out covered in bruises and various scratches. It MUST have been self inflicted.It could have been worse?? But hell, whatever, she's "fine" as she can be so it's all good. Not to mention she HAS been doing alot better so i might be able to coax her into making another blog post. If i'm lucky.




SIGH.


The trails of a sibling bound brother. If this persists, I have a friend who would be MORE than happy to help.

The birth of a monster

Sorry for the delay of posts, i swear i've made this post several times before....must have dreamed it....Lets hope that this one is the FOR SURE reality.(if it isn't i swear to something that i'm GOING TO STAB A BITCH) .I'm pretty sure it is...none of my surroundings has changed, so I think i'm safe.


Damn it!


Whoever is messing with my mind is doing one hell of a job I'm literally almost at that point where it's hard to distinguish dreams from reality. But let's not concentrate on the negative shall we? I do have quite an interesting a dream to discuss but I'm going jot down a few things first.


Ever since I've started on my little "mission" I've been lured into a more deeper and lucid dream state than usual. However it still maintains the qualities of dream, always shifting at the most random of times so it's always just so hard to tell whats a tell-tale slender sign or a proxy...or at least until they attack me that is. But I've only been attacked while in a dream state...heh, pussies. Some might have been an actual part of the dream though, since they always seem to shift  into something else before they reach me. Which is another reason why i didn't update sooner, I just thought it was all a part of my mind. But others, the real ones? I won't lie, I end up getting my ass handed to me every time we engage in combat but they don't kill me. I also do damage them pretty badly, which i'm ever so proud of ^~^ They're probably just trying to scare me, but i'm still not a big fan of waking up with multiple bruises, scratches, and  paranoid state of mind.


Also another thing i've noticed is that instead of getting less sleep like other slender troubled victims, I've been getting more sleep. However this is not as much as a luxury as it really seems. To be in a peaceful, carefree state of reality, enjoying the control of your own world at the very tips of your fingers.


HAHA, don't make me laugh.


Sleep for me is never peaceful. At first i was running in some dreams (as mentioned in previous blog posts), and then finding just beautiful scenes of gore in others...But now they seem like a long string of events connected to one another, as if i were living a second life. It mostly takes place in a forest though but sometimes warehouses, temples on a foreign country, or giant labyrinths. But mostly forests occupy my dreams most nights. The dark forest's gloomy, dead trees are just so lifeless. Even the faint rustle of leaves have a dull tone to them and what little creature that are seen seem like an apparition. The only real signs of life i see are proxies, patrolling the forest as if they were eternally damned to do so.In the dreams, when i think I've found my "safe place" WHAM. A decapitated head plops on my lap and leaves me screaming into the dead forest. When i try to run my environment shifts and sways as if my mind is desperately trying to escape but some stronger, darker force is preventing it so. Sometimes i do managed to regain control over my surroundings by reminding myself it's my own mind and body and get away into a warehouse or a different section of the forest. Hey, it's not Disneyland but i'll take what i can get.


I do try to control my dreams though to defend myself, but nowadays it only seems like there's only a 20% chance of it working. Like there's some type of twisted dark matter within the atmosphere that's suppressing my ability to control my dreams, as a lucid dreamer should. I can still sense and remember everything though...just not control it very well...


I do find the occasional traps every now and then, but i mostly find them in cabins. Heh, once i saw one of the poor bastards trip a trap that poured acid on him. Unfortunately I've been victimized to this crap to, once i got my leg caught in bear trap and was stuck there for what seemed like hours on end...Eventually for of those masked bastards came upon me and conjured a hot poker and continuously beat be until i fell unconscious....Then i woke up in another part of the forest. Wounds healed but the searing pain and the smell of burnt flesh stayed with me. I just wish i had more experience in this type of crap. But i shouldn't worry that's what my Big Brother is for! He's planned on teaching me the basics of survival, knowing my traps, how to find one, ect. ect. ect. Unfortunately he has quite the drinking habit, but it normally doesn't get in out way.


The worst part is (okay maybe not the worst part but one of them) that when i wake up, it's like i barely got any sleep! So. Damn. Irritating. It's just so damn hard to tell whats real and whats not. You wake up one morning, get out of bed and walk right into a mother fucking forest. You could imagine that it gets irritating at times.One of the reasons why I was able to make a coherent blog posts with minimal errors was because these dream controlling demons left me to night a night of pure silence and darkness. I'm not sure if they were trying to scare me with "the fear of the dark" bull crap or what, BUT I FUCKING LOVED IT! I woke up, and i was sure of it.


Crap. What if they were preparing me for the worse that's yet to some? Or resting me up so that i could endure more of this torturous bull crap? I wish i wasn't such a worrier >.<


I need to stop worrying to i'll move onto a different subject. Let's talk dreams.


So my dreams may be strung up all together but there was one session in particular that stood out. I was treading carefully around the dead trees when there numbers began to taper in one section of the forest. It peaked my curiosity and i hustled over there (seeing how it was the only interesting thing that has happened in what seemed like hours then) trying to to stir the dead leaves as i did so. I did stop though around a 130 or so yards back to see that a large, black, oily looking lake has come into sight. Now keep in mind that even though it was at quite a distance away i controlled my dream in a way to enhance my sight so I didn't have to come close to this thing.This thing was massive, but the oddest part about it was the surface of the water. At first glance it just seemed to be small waves but when i got a closer look the surface writhed and trembled. It looked as if multiple hands were clawing desperately (and hopelessly) at the jet black bounds of this lake of despair. 
I moved closer 50 or so yard to get a better look at it. Now that i was closer i could see that the surface didn't have a liquid look to it anymore but more so like a tar-ish like substance that was impossible to penetrate. The things clawing at the surface were indeed hands, claws, and other various limbs but none seemed to brake through. That was until a scaly clawed figure managed to break through.


At first i thought it was just an over sized limb stretching the surface but i knew it broke though once I saw it grip the edge of the land that laid before it. It slowly lured itself out of the oily looking tar, i could smell it faintly and was glad i wasn't any closer. I saw another limb break through but it was giant paw with jagged edged claws. I looked back at the other limb, confused, and saw that it had changed into a hoof with muscular legs lifting up the great mass of flesh out of the dark substance before it. The process was quite painful to watch, really.The two limbs morphed into the various legs and feet of other animals (and sometimes the hands and arms of humans) and finally hefted it's upper torso out of the dark wriggling mass and i saw the thing's head.


It's head was horrifying, at first i only saw the outline of what looked like to the head of large lizard(i guess you could say a dragon since it was at the appropriate size of one..). However it's shape shifted into that of a large wolf. Then into that of a lion, it's what was once to be thought majestic mane was matted and covered in the black smelly goo. The black seeped off of the head revealing it's eyes. Two white soulless orbs pierced through the black mass that was it's body. Those desolate globes seemed to drag every form of life around it into death. They formed an indescribable desolate type of atmosphere around this creature's very being. Making the forest near the edge of the pool look more empty and hopeless than it already was. Each eye held a glimmer in it though as if it was searching for a final release from it's very own hell. It had a mad glare to it an an anger that looked like it could shake the very earth to it's core if it wanted to. It open it maw (which took on the form of a muzzle) and let out a shattered, gargled screech that gouged the night sky and shook the forest (i had to cover my ears for in fear that i would wake up deaf). The creature held row after row of pristine white needle-like teeth that were stained a dark red with the blood of the helpless victims. It had matted bits of gore between some of them and i swear that if i would have looked closes enough, i could have seen maybe a hand or a leg.


The formed wavered as it was seemed to use all of it's strength to get out. It's limbs still changed it's forms as did the head, but the black substance crawled off of the front two legs and seeped back into the pool. The mismatched body managed to get half of itself out of the dark lake by this time and the black crap got off of the front limbs as well. The main torso of the creature shifted as well as the parts of it's body did, but it was quite hard to tell the difference since it only changed into that of four legged creatures.  (I should have figured, because how inconvenient  must it be to randomly change into the body of a giant chicken while you have the front legs of a horse, the back legs of a human, and the head of a lizard.) So body just looked like an ever shifting lumpy black mass, since the black made it unable to tell what type of body it beheld.


It hefted it's unimaginably immense remaining amount of weight onto the land and stayed there for moment while the black slowly oozed back into the writhing pool. It remained still, hunched over itself as if it were trying to regain it's strength. It's various body parts still changed, a claw on the right talon with an ape like hand on the left, or a whip like tail to shift into that of a horse. It slowly lumbered itself in my direction. I don't think it saw me since it made no "target lock" on me but i could still feel its mad, wandering eyes fall upon my being. Making me shiver to my very core. The adrenaline that pumped though my veins increased my eyesight further making me see even more detail of this beast from hell than i wanted to. 


It had stitching that would connect itself at the very most major parts of the body, showing the boundary of where that limb would stop changing. Like the arm like limbs were connect at were your shoulders would be, the head at the neck, legs at the hip, and tail at the backside. A slicker looking black ooze bled through the crappy stitch work that somehow managed to hold. It left black streaks across the creature but they always faded into the being, giving it a shadowy look to itself.


The thing looked eyes with me and release a low, rumbling growl that twisted into a wail. It sat back on it's haunches, preparing itself to leap and it did. I swear my whole life flashed before my eyes...all of whom i have loved, lost, and never made amends with stung my very soul. When it was upon me and when i was sure i going to die i woke up. Startled, weeping uncontrollably, and very shaken up.


I am lead to believe that this creature will now haunt my dreams, and chase me down for whomever it's sick sadistic master may be. I also have a sick feeling it won't stop until it does so...I have no idea how to stop it and i am almost willing to take any help i get...


I will now lead this post to close, I apologize for the length of it. It is only to be expected since it is my first update since i stated my plans. I'll see you all later (if i'm still alive that is..)


Yours truly~
Den Varg

Children these days...

My, My.

What have you gotten into now? I finally find time out of my busy fucking to schedule to check up on your blog (which by the way is supposed to HELP YOU, not inspire you to put yourself into more fucking danger) and see this little gem:

"I'm going to try to fight these nightmares...I'm going to see out the truth"

THE FUCK?!?!?!?

Now you've actual decided to go after this fucking...god i don't know what you want to call them, things?!?! Do you have ANY idea what in HELL you've gotten yourself into? Do you even know what you have started by openly declaring that you're going after them( or attempting to anyways..) You could of at least had a small chance by trying to forget about it LIKE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET YOU TO DO THIS WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME.

These damn, stubborn ass kids these days...You're doing nothing but chasing shadows you know that? And you know what'll happen when you find out what casts those shadows? Do more than shit your pants, that's for fucking sure...Just leave things as they are and i'm abso-fucking-lutely

positive things will be back to normal. I'll make sure of it this time.

However if you do continue on with this craptastic plan of yours, just try to be safe please. You're literally the only damn family member i keep in contact still and i don't want to lose that. So if you manage to get in trouble, you can count on me to get you out of it. As much as i fucking want you to learn your damn lesson, i'll still help you out. However don't take this as a sign to leeroy jenkins yourself into as much damn trouble as possible because then i'll REALLY be fucking pissed at you. But I WON'T help you chase down these assholes, in your weird ass dream world or in the real fucking world either.

If you're heart is STILL fucking set on after chasing your nightmares, heed my warning:

They're more than just beings of dreams, they can actually FUCKING hurt you in the waking world and WILL come after you.

Please try to stay safe

-BB

Reborn

 I'm truly scared. I tried so hard to fight against the fear but i just don't know how to fight it anymore. I don't even think it's possible to fight anymore, but I think that i have a pretty good idea of what to do. It's probably better than the "sweep it under a rug" thing i tried to do, but don't worry. All shall hopefully be explained to you and then maybe..just maybe i will have someone that understands as well.
First and foremost, let me apologize. I'm sorry for the lack of posts for the... fuck i don't know, months or so. It's just that I want to erase all that i knew from my mind. I wanted to bury the horrid dreams and the fright that has crept into my mind and stated there like a parasite.To let the fear that i has enveloped get lost within the endless folds of time, but alas, it would not fade. No matter what did, or how hard i tried it would. not. leave. Hell, i even tried out a therapist for Christs sake, it didn't last long but i tried. All they wanted to do is shove fucking pills down my throat, and there was no way in HELL i was OK with that. My friends? I don't really have any, after middle school i became home schooled and i really only have one who has been with me through the end. I pray that he never gets caught up in this shit. However even he know my troubles and do what they can...and god bless his soul for trying to help but.it's not quite working. But if you nightmare-ish bastards are reading this, please leave them the hell alone. They of all people deserve a better life than this..and my brother, to put it simply, is a worthless fuck when it comes to helping me. All he tries to do is persuade it me it isn't real, that it's just an overactive imagination of mine. I'll give him brownie points for trying though ( as worthless his "help" was). The dark thoughts kept crawling back, reaching out with dark tendrils to poison the last bit of comfort I've manage to salvage. All i wanted to do was just run away from this mental madness...but how could i run from something that was within my mind?
But now, I've decided to try to fight these nightmares of mind and reality. Instead of trying to hide away the knowledge in the dark corners of my mind, I'm going to seek out the truth. I will no longer live in fear of these bastard monstrosities that dance grimly in my nightmares. I will seek out the truth behind the madness, the reason to it all and the way to defeat it. I don't know who I can count on though...I'm not 100% sure if my brother and Matt would go for this. My brother just pushes me away from the internet when he can. "It's nothing but lies, just fucking children stories. You're to damn old for that" "You're obsession with this is unhealthy, if you can't even get over you're dreams how the hell do you expect to even forget about this shit. That's if it even happened." Hmm. That asshole, but that's my brother for ya... I'm pretty sure i'll get an earful on blogger later about how rash i am. Well, that's a suffering i'm willing to endure, because he can either help me or GTFO. No matter how hard he tries to keep the truth hidden, i will always have the gentle itch of curiosity tug at the my back mind, and it won't be satisfied unless i find answers. In fact, it i kinda hope it will never be satisfied. When it comes to relying on my friend on the other hand...well I really don't want to get my my friend involved...i really don't.....but if worst comes to worst and i have no one else to rely on, i guess i'll just have to turn to him(whose name is Matt by the way if ya haven't caught that by now :P). But i'll try my best to keep the burdens of my own mind to myself, even if it results in my own mental ruination. 
So now this blog is reborn, into something much more than just a simple dream log. It is my now my journey towards the light, no matter how dark it may seem. However yes i will still log my dreams, i have a feeling they're much more important than i thought. No longer are they just ways to psycho-analyze your subconscious, but they are now nightmares so lucid the aftermath revealed after awaking is coming to point where it's almost considered "gruesome".
Now i promise, with God and whoever reads this as my witness, that i will post every dream. Every detail. Every encounter. Every single fucking horror that haunts me to the best extent of my knowledge, and i promise that i will discover the truth and end my madness once and for all. 

Cobwebs everywhere

Man is it me or is this blog growing cobwebs? I swear its like why bother even having it? And is it me or did the orange color change?And why does this font seem so small?!?!!?
but that's beside the point.
Between not giving a fuck about reading most blogs and actually having a damn life, I never actually really had motive to go on here other to help out my sister....And after reading her recent post i can see that she's not fairing to well....

Although i regrettably have to admit she did have a point 2 posts ago trying to leverage fear for knowledge XP, so i guess the tough guy act isn't just me. Still though, if any of you freaks or weirdos even THINK bout harming her i will make you beg for death. But lets try not to stray off topic shall we?

Like i mentioned the only interest i have in this blog is to help her, and i'll do whatever it takes to help. Even if it means "prying" into her personal life (i swear i didn't mean for that to sound as harsh as it did). I just mean that, she's just a kid still (well to me at least) and i want her to enjoy life to the fullest with no worries, no stress, or no troubles! I also am trying my best to understand whats going on, i mean at least i'm attempting to read a blog or two(which reminds me to add more to reading list later..) but i honestly (and no offense) don't give a shit about anyone else. Only her, since she IS family and all. So i'm just an innocent guy trying to help out a....troubled family member. Also since, i kinda moved it's really hard to help her since i'm not really there in person. I know there will be times to visit but i have a really busy work scheduled and i'm trying to plan a wedding which makes me reliant on this magical device called a PHONE and this strange contraption called this.. this....INTERNET.
:P(hehehehehe)
Point being whether she likes it or not, I'm here to help her out. So to start on such, i'm going to be giving updates on her when i can. (which is kind of pathetic since she should do this herself since she knows herself better than i do. i'm just saying)

So i guess i'll start now.
Recently....she hasn't been to well....and judging by the amount of errors in her most recent post, i don't think she's improving. In the time before I left, she always seemed to be taking a nap. Whether it was after school, on the weekends, at the beach, in the car and i just thought it was just your average teenage angst/depression so i never really put much thought into it but i was curious on what she would be depressed about. So i just started to try to get some info out of her on small stuff with a touch of brotherly love, like the typical "Hows school like, chump" and "Hey get that snorlax out of route 11"(brownie points on whoever gets the reference), and the lovely "Why the fuck are you sleeping so much". (Subtlety was never my thing....) The only SOMEWHAT useful reply i got was "...i need to know more" or " I would tell you but you wouldn't understand, since you didn't read those damn blogs like i told you to!".....Well shit. She did get me there..I still fail to understand how the problems of others can be hers as well.
Grrrr.....women...... I guess if i just HAVE to read other blogs then so be it.....
Also, even though it seems like she's always asleep every hour of the day, when she's awake she acts like she hasn't slept in 2 days. You'd think she's storing energy in little bottles or something with all of that sleep. She's also kind of more distant than she used to be, always zoning out into blank spaces with vacant yet concentrating type of look on her face. I swear that girl is a mystery wrapped in an enigma.
The last thing is odd, i don't really know why she does it but she kind of twitches in her sleep. I'm not sure if this is related to the night screaming that she's used to do or not but it seems pretty odd to me. Only because sometimes she twitches when she's awake. Its not really twitching though when she's awake...its more like just really jerky hand motions when she's going to do something, or just moving really quickly after being called to attention after she just zoned out. But it's like she does it when no ones watching (or when she thinks no ones there). Which is pretty odd, because if she can control it then why twitch? And if you're going to control the twitch, then wouldn't it make more sense to do it in front of people for attention?

Well, Varg if you're going to read this post by any chance would it kill ya to give even just a tiiiiiiiiny explanation? or even a hint! Because, with all due respect, you're just confusing as fuck just so ya know -.-'

So i'll take my leave and post some other time. But keep in mind I do have quite a busy life so i may not be able to post soon.
WHICH ALSO MEANS I'M RELYING ON YOU VARG TO POST TO!

Later.

Apologies for the absence

Sorry being gone for a while, been busy with school, life and whotnot....

I haven't being sleeping well lately but i'll elaborate later(ortry to anyways))

I can't make this long, gotta go soon and help my brother move into his new place today, im going to try to pressure him into posting for me ^u^ Aren;t i a wonderful sister?

Anywhos is anyone else having twitter problems?

i cant log into my account >,< (mabey it has something to do with my email account i linked it to, since it got blocked)

Unfortunatelly i'll have to make my leave here, let's hope i dont trip and kill myself in my barely concious sleep deprived state of mind :'D

  btw spell checking's for loozers and  fully awake people :D

WAIT WAIT
before i go, can somebody keep me up to date on whats happening...been to busy being locked up in my own little world to realize whats going on around me...sorry....